Article by Diana Damron
Diana Damron
Think back to the last time you lost it. You know what I mean. You lost your cool with your direct report, a customer at the other end of the phone, or perhaps, with your teenager. Whether the last time you lost it was last week or just a few moments ago, please understand, we all have times when we just lose it. And by losing it, I mean losing control. Losing control of our temper, of our words, of our tone of voice, and of that expression on our face that sends people scurrying for emotional cover.
Our sense of whether we’re in the driver’s seat or trapped in the back seat of a car driven by someone whose eyes are the phone and not on the road can catapult us from a person deemed thoughtful and professional to one who shows up as rash and incompetent in a matter of moments.
Consider this. You and I move from civil to uncivil when we feel we’re losing control – losing control of the situation, of our reputation, of our bank account, of the encroaching deadline, of a relationship, of our ability to come off as confident and competent.
When we transition from the positive to the negative, we not only don’t seize the day, we allow the day, the other person, the email, the post, the situation to seize us. We hand over us to them.
I’m a consultant and coach who works with organizations to create cultures of trust. When you can create and maintain a culture of trust, people don’t spend the day measuring how much control they’ve lost. They do what needs to be done, say what needs to be said, and ask what needs to be asked with no fear that someone else holds the reins over their emotions and behaviors. They’re in the driver’s seat of their day.
In every human being and every organizations – no matter the size – there are three elements at play: civility, communication, and character. Those three elements – what I call The 3 C’s – are critical to your success and your failure. When you understand the role that the 3 C’s play in your life, you begin to understand that as you choose to focus on them, you increasingly gain control.
Carpe Diem! You seize the day. In my language: You C’s the Day!
So, what if you feel stuck right now? The idea that you can C’s the Day may seem like an impossibility. I want you do take this one step…starting now. Unleash Civility! Unleash the civility within YOU! I define civility as the consistent communication of respect. Consider what you’re communicating to yourself. Consider whether you’re showing respect to you. Here are three quick steps to put into practice immediately:
- Change your labels. How are you identifying yourself? Incompetent, unqualified, victim, too (old, young, uneducated, inexperienced)? Identify yourself in a way that puts you in a position of strength!
- Change your posture. Seriously! Change the way you walk into your workplace. Change the way you sit. Like Mama said: stand (or sit up) straight!
- Change how you spend your time. Consider reducing time on social media.
I want you to Enjoy each day. Own each Day. Embrace each Day.
In other words:
C’s the Day!
Article originally appeared in Montana Woman Magazine March 2019
Diana is a speaker and author who helps organizations build Cultures of Trust before they lose money, people, and their reputations. Diana works closely with each business to create civility and communication strategies that lead to increased engagement, more effective communication, and energized teams. Diana is the author of Civility Unleashed: Using Civility to Survive and Thrive in the Workplace and The Civility Workout: Your Personal Guide to Unleashing Civility in the Workplace. Get copies for your organization and your teams at Amazon.com, or call Diana for a consultation at 406.890.8453.